Milk and lotus buds

I was walking today with my earphones, probably I was listening a Soko song (yay, I love her music), and I remembered him. I don't know why but normally I remember him always on this season, what's the matter with you, Hannah? Looking back on the past things, as always.
Childhood passed but it was so happy the most time...  Especially in summer and autumn on the village where I grew up.

I dream about shoot a perfect instant, an instant where people (good people) open their hearts, dancing almost without clothes like the real dancers, in a basketball court. They're normal people but you can trust on them. I dream about find kindred spirits, and know they're kindred spirits only with a look.

I feel like a kind of a cup of milk and lotus buds that grows on the mud; milk is my inner child, lotus is my whole life. I don't wanna say I'm a flower, that's really egocentric, but I have grown up trying to put my face on the surface of the mud, after in the clean water, and after the air since I was on my mom's belly, but that's an story which I will write shortly, not today.
Milk plus lotus, it's the mix where I was a little girl. As a child I never thought about this kind of the shit life I have had and have, cause anyway, I'm a survivor, and I'm proud of it, although I forgot it. That's a joke, my brain was immature in those days to remember it, I was a fetus!
The fact is; I cling to live. But I ask myself too many things, normally stupid things that makes me weak, I hate it. But I'm a survivor, and I'm proud of myself. I cannot say it constantly, it's tough and I'm secretive, but yes, I'm proud.

XX

Hannah

Today's a new beginning

I don't know how I can start...

I'm Hannah, and this is a kind of journal. You know, I need to write my feelings and I have thought this is the best way to do it.

In the past I used to write on my paper journal, diary, whatever, I was scared If anyone read, I'm not a kind of girl who talks a lot about her life with anyone because there is some things you only can keep on your mind, but that I need to tell or, maybe, to explain here.

I don't pretend to be a blogger, I only need to write.
I don't wanna be heavy, this post is just to say hello and open up my blog! So... Hello!

XX

Hannah